I'm a middle-aged woman who's trying to look for someone who can satisfy me in a variety of extraordinary ways. I want someone who has above-average skills inside the bedroom and who will do everything to keep me from feeling sexually disappointed.

The past me would be begging a man to stay. I was naïve and reckless. Now, needless to say, I'm chuffed to just be single and not force things. I strongly believe that happiness will come to those who wait.

Tea is my first love. I can drink eight cups of tea with lots of milk while eating an egg and cress club sandwich filled with mayonnaise, mashed hard-boiled eggs, and cheese or dunking biscuits into my tea.

I bake bread when I'm at home, but there's a twist. I only bake when I'm starkers and when the door is open. A fresh air helps me bake better. My bread is something never forget. Most always come back to have more.

I'm not aroused when a man puts his knob into my fanny right away. Start kissing me on my nape all the way down, and you'll hear me moaning your name out of pleasure. Foreplay works for me when a man I've just met wants to get off me.

Cuddling, snuggling, snogging or making out. These are just a few of the many things I want to date with a bleedin' special someone. But sadly, I’m currently single, and that certain person is not here by my side yet. So here I am, looking for some...