Oral sex or chocolate? I like oral sex while eating chocolate. It has to be the dark one. I think it's perfect. Aussie kiss paired with dark chocolate. Good combination! Haven't tried putting it on someone's balloon knot. I should do it next time.

Wears big glasses when I'm out of my mind. Wears skinny jeans, tight shirt, short skirts. Wears lingerie when I'm in the mood to flirt. Flips her hair unconsciously. Don't take it as flirting. It's natural for women to do it.

The first thing I look at when I visit someone else's house for the first time is their bathroom. A dirty loo is a big turn off for me. I mean, there's nothing adorable about a man who can't clean his own bathroom. Might as well dump his dirty ass on...

I always loved being dramatic, even in bed, role-play is the most effective way of getting me to spread my legs. I prefer young lads that don't mind having a mistress control their pleasure and know how to behave themselves.

Whenever a lad hits up on me and asks me where I came from, I always tell them I came from a floating island in Gulliver's Travels. They laugh. Those little bastards don't know it's Laputa. Guess I'll have to change my address, whaddya think?

I think I baked just about every flavour of pie there is on this planet by being the model housewife. The best pie does not involve an oven though. The recipe includes a dashing lad's dipstick, a bed-- though not necessarily, and my aching cunt.